Some days are just… chaotic. Yesterday was one of them. It was a day of impulsive decisions, quick reversals, and a whole lot of laughter. It was also a reminder of living with Progressive Supranuclear Palsy (PSP), a truly and rapidly progressing condition that challenges my balance and movement. But even with a serious diagnosis, I can still be counted on to orchestrate chaos, yet the end of the day, both my wife and I felt lighter, more mobile, and relieved. The day of the scooter 🙂
But I’m getting ahead of myself.
We were due to spend the afternoon with wonderful friends who met at our wedding nearly 30 years ago. But the morning saw another episode of my self-created chaos, summed up by a simple equation: Two Parts Impulse + Two Backtracks. On a retirement income, these impulses carry a lot more weight.
Part 1: The 30kg save (Impulse #1, Backtrack #1)
The day before, I made a rushed online purchase of an electric wheelchair. My logic? While I loved the rental, it was fun, zippy, and gave me a taste of freedom, it wasn’t quite right for my, let’s say, robust frame. I’m over its weight limit of 90kg (200lbs) (although note I am also 194cm (6’4”)), so I needed something with more power and stamina.
In my enthusiasm, I chose the only option in the catalogue, one that weighed a hefty 30kg. I tried to downplay the obvious, but my wife was nervous, and rightly so, her friends pointed it out to me. I got annoyed, but I was really annoyed with myself.
To make it even more frustrating, my wife promptly found a lighter version (14kg) that still supports up to 120kg. Genius! Guilt washed over me. I was about to burden my wife with the heavy one, a mistake pointed out by someone who coincidentally shared their own story with me.
Thus began Backtrack #1. At 9 am, I was on the phone, securing a refund and ordering the lighter chair https://www.mobilitypower.co.uk/product/airchair/ ). Crisis averted! I scheduled a pickup for 11 am.
Part 2: Scooter Shenanigans (Impulse #2, Backtrack #2)
Just when I thought the day’s drama was over, the showroom had other plans.
The store wasn’t just a wheelchair retailer; it was the Israeli dealership for a UK line of mobility scooters, a disabled person’s dream showroom. As I stepped inside, I felt a surge of childish adrenaline. Everything was shiny, new, and potentially dangerous. I was giddy. Then came the test drive offer of a model – https://www.mobilitypower.co.il/product/fastest/ . I knew myself too well.
“If I try it, I’ll buy it!” I warned.
You know what’s coming.
I tried it. Freedom! Speed! I felt like a kid. What remained (or was ever there) of my logical brain shut down, and Impulse #2 took over. I bought the scooter. Cheaper than expected? Maybe. Justifiable? Not really.
Driving back, I zipped along in the wheelchair, too quickly, of course, and nearly flipped over as I came out of the store, then slowed down. A fantastic feeling! My wife felt a little differently.
But the showroom high faded fast. I couldn’t shake the image of myself as a ridiculous, middle-aged guy on a Noddy car. I pictured little kids in their rented toy Range Rovers lining up to race me, and I’d be the guy determined to have them at the line. The adrenaline turned to embarrassment, and my finances flashed before my eyes. As I try to set an example and cut costs, here is being a terrible role model. Backtrack #2 was initiated. Hours later, I cancelled the scooter order, feeling both relieved and slightly sheepish. With the scooter drama behind me, I shifted focus to the lighter wheelchair, ready to enjoy the rest of the day.
That evening, we went out with our friends and their kids, and we laughed. I was able to get to the restaurant under my own steam, thanks to the new wheelchair (which I love and is more than enough for me).
The Good
A great day, ending with a wheelchair both my wife and I are happy with. As someone who sometimes struggles to even slide (not walk) across the bedroom floor, I can’t tell you how much I value mobility. I also listened to my wife (it took a bit of time).
Regrets
None this morning, but I caused my wife typical carnage, for which I feel bad. I have the set of wheels that’s right for my wife and me.
Grateful
I certainly didn’t need the scooter, but I’m glad they sell it. Why shouldn’t people with mobility issues have choices? It’s awesome. Gratitude to the various people who allowed me to climb back from my decisions. Most of all, I’m grateful to be with friends, we laughed, talked, and walked (me driving, of course). I guess my instincts for impulsiveness are still there, and I’m thankful that, even moving into a phase of life where my body does less, life can feel normal.
Today – a walk by the beach – Simply something that would have not been possible with a walker. Yeh!
5 Responses
Hi Ben,
What a lovely tale and so glad you AND your wife made it through.
I have been following your blog and very impressed by your positive vibes. I am fortunate, for now, that my PSP is in its early stages. Neurologist still not certain it’s PSP, might be CBD.
My balance issue is being helped by a Balance Belt which vibrates round my waist and allows me to do short walks around town without a stick. Like the pub tonight.🍺
As they say here in the Scottish Borders – safe lot, safe in.
All the best, Alex
thank you so much Alex – wishing you all the best and i’d love to know about the balance belt especially as far as it helps with the pub 🙂
I am so glad you’ve got a wheelchair that is lighter that your wife can fold up easy and put into your other set of wheels when travelling longer distances. Having come with a couple of batteries is great too. We are off the grid here, so when and if I need a chair it will have to have bigger wheels on it cause we don’t have concrete to travel on, unless you are on the highway! My husband says he’ll rig up a gas riding lawn mower for me that I can use, if needed to race around in the hood here. Our closest neighbor and friend is about 5 city blocks away, down the hill on our gravel road. We do have a gas side by side (Yamaha Wolverine) that we bought many years ago when we finished building our house here and decided to retire here. It still runs great as my husband can fix or repair anything with a gas motor.
I’m thinking a gas scooter may be the way to go for me. I’ve had motorcycles in the past and they are great. 2 wheels on the back is great, cause balance is an issue. At least when you stop you don’t have to worry about falling over. Glad you are using your walker inside and still getting your exercises in!! Keep as active as possible and keep the chaos at bay!! Lol!! Take care and enjoy!!
thanks michelle – the second battery has already saved us once. your husband sounds like a very handy person to have around & i am so impressed about the two wheels 🙂
G-d bless you, rock star. Everything I listen to you talk or read what you’ve written, I can’t shake the feeling that you actually have much better *balance* than all the rest of us.