I’ve been listening to myself and many others, and I’ve realized that my posting has become overwhelming. So, I am taking a deep breath and letting the last few days wash over me and stepping back.
It is however 00:50, and I’m awake not by choice but because of the chronic sleep issue I’m trying to manage. I have an obsession to write, and believe it or not, some people find my words helpful.
Therefore, I said to myself—being a consultant and spending much of my career in conflict resolution—what about a compromise? Write something not really about my current situation but something short, positive, upbeat, and practical which may offer some insight and doesn’t hurt me emotionally.
So here is episode 1 (of who knows how many, if any…). I would really appreciate feedback. This is based on two really important discussions I had with people recently.
Yoga
If someone had told me before my Parkinson’s diagnosis that I’d write about yoga, they would have laughed. I was unfit, had a terrible work/life balance, suffered from high blood pressure, and barely exercised—a terrible role model on the fast track to an unhealthy future.
Almost immediately after my diagnosis, I met with the neurology department’s physio and doctor. As I have relayed before (some of you have heard this a number of times)…I still remember it so vividly…
The physio said to me, “You must start to exercise seriously and work on reducing the rigidity of your muscles and the mobility of your body.” I sort of went, “OK,” hoping the conversation would end. She said, “You must take up a physical activity like yoga.” I said, “No,” and my body language repeated it… She suggested, “Tai Chi.” I said, “No.” She suggested, “Dance.” I said, “I’ll go for yoga.”
So yoga was a complete joke as far as I was concerned but definitely the lesser of three evils, especially dance (for me anyway). No way.
However, for some strange reason, I took it seriously, found a simple yoga workout for PD patients (here is the original link I learned from), and then asked a local neighbor who teaches yoga for help. She has been helping me weekly for much of that time. I owe her so much. Anyway, it stuck, and it has probably been one of the most important decisions I have ever taken.
Believe me, with PD comes pain, but yoga has been, in my view, such a critical element for minimizing it and the muscle rigidity issues I face. It doesn’t stop it—far from it—but being an accountant, I tried to calculate how many hours of acute muscle and joint pain I have probably avoided. I gave up but it would be a very big number. My previous body simply could not have handled the consequences of what has been a very fast Parkinson’s journey (I needed the pump after less than 5 years and was only able to walk with a cane/stick).
Additionally, yoga has taught me to breathe. Incredibly, this is actually a thing…I thought it came with the package, but it turns out I had no idea how to breathe and therefore calm myself. I won’t use the popular phrase ‘mindful,’ but truly it helps me get perspective, take a step back, and unfortunately for you, brings with it tons of ideas for topics to write.
As a bonus, it supports the other main form of exercise I do, which is also critical—walking/running. Without yoga, it would be really damaging for my body.
It doesn’t have to be yoga. It is not the yoga that is important—from what I have learned, many people are doing very well with Tai Chi, Qigong, dance, Pilates, stretch routines, and other similar activities.
It is taking the time to stop, reflect, and for me, to stretch each of the core muscles I use (this is not referring to ‘core muscles’—something I vaguely understand but to this day am not sure I know where they are).
If I can do it – truly anyone can!
Support
A friend and I debated a post she wrote about the importance of supporting people who don’t find this time of year so “happy” and being sensitive to their feelings. She wrote a great article, but I questioned whether it was “raining on people’s party” a little to focus on the issue…I was wrong.
This is an amazing time of the year for people and is truly special. As two of my kids celebrate their 22nd birthdays today (yes—they are twins :-)) and my other has hers on January 4th, it is a very special time of the year for me. They probably won’t read this (yes I have drowned them and I think they gave up long ago :-))
But it is such a hard time of the year for so many people on so many levels. Physically, it is winter, which is hard for many; emotionally, many are alone or with loved ones who have challenges like Parkinson’s (and a million other things); and financially, it is hard for many people…there is a much longer list to be honest.
I am completely blessed with truly the most amazing support—an unbelievable wife, three truly awesome kids (ok—adults and an almost adult), great family, friends, and colleagues. Even with this, I sometimes struggle—as a number of people have seen so publicly these last few days. So my advice…reach out to friends or relatives at this time and double-click on your support. It matters. It can be too much so be a little aware of your approach (as I wrote about on positivity), but it makes a difference.
I got a message today from someone I don’t know just thanking me for writing and saying I was making a difference. They had no agenda (in a different country, different line of work), no need to do it, but it made me smile—it was, for the business people reading this, an almost infinite ROI—cost nothing, no downside, just value (and it was of course genuine, which is key to the process).
To my friend—you were right!
Smile
One of the most noticeable differences between my dark days and better ones is humor and a smile. Firstly, DO NOT tell someone to smile! People do it all the time to me—it is awful, and nothing will make me not smile more than that.
Don’t make fun or belittle someone’s situation—that also doesn’t help.
A bit of good humor makes all the difference. Last night, when I needed it, a friend made me laugh at the ridiculousness of my day, and it truly helped me.
A smile—if it is genuine and real—even a little one is really key—BUT please, in my humble opinion, don’t force it.
In Summary
I’ve achieved my objective in the last 40 minutes (including a break for a red alert due to a ballistic missile overhead—a completely different topic for another time on a different channel). Who knows if anyone will find this useful…I look forward to feedback (if it is really bad, you can choose to hold back…joking of course, sort of).
Wishing you Happy Holidays (and one where we look after others who need our support).
