One of the most common pieces of feedback and challenge I have received to my blogs concerns the word “fight.” A number of people disagree with the word or at least prefer different ones. It is something that has given me pause for thought—after all the points people have made are for sure valid but on the other hand, I have gone out and purchased a URL with the word fight in it, so it would be more than a little annoying if I had to change it. I think that may tell you that I might not be objective…we will see.
What Do I Mean by Fight?
I came to the word intuitively and adopted it right out of the gate. It was instinctive. I figured I am up against a dangerous enemy and I need to fight it to retain my health, my dignity, my life. To psych myself up, I used battle language, words of war. My role model became Churchill, and his quotes became a mantra: “If you are going through hell, keep going.” I credit this with an attitude that has developed some pretty strong resistance and steel.
Over time, it has matured and become more adept. As I write about in this blog called “The Fight with Parkinson’s – Head On or Guerilla Tactics,” I have learned that I can’t defeat the beast by trying to hold back the tsunami with my bare hands. Instead, I have to use guerilla tactics. However, the language is still ‘fight.’
I did a word count from all my blogs of the number of times I said the word ‘fight’ (only checking actual blog text) – 125 times (add ‘battle’ and ‘war’ and you are at 175). It says something. As a numbers nerd it is worth noting I said the words ‘hope’, ‘positive’ and ‘optimism/ic’ 169 times so it is close.
But is it the right approach?
Of the challenging feedback, which I really appreciate, it seems to group into three categories.
What about Fun/Enjoyment and Living – you can’t just fight, fight fight. You will spend your whole battling and then realize you have not enjoyed any of it:
I totally accept this point. The connotation of a fight is constant battle and confrontation. While part of the fight is to have fun, stress relief, rest, mindfulness, relaxation, and calm are critical and don’t fit the combative nature of the word ‘fight.’ So, one point against ‘Fight.’
Fighting is Exhausting and it is a long term illness – you just can’t sustain it:
Yes, it is. It is constant and draining. Given that we have a marathon to run, it can’t be a constant full-on fight. However, for me, being in game mode is necessary to keep up with exercise, yoga, physio, acupuncture, drugs, and diet. Somehow I will have to find a way – probably by picking my battles to win the war. This is a good challenge but doesn’t fully convince me. So, 1/2 point for ‘Fight.’
Fighting is Not the Right Approach – you have to accept, adapt and learn to live with it:
For me, adapting and learning to live with Parkinson’s doesn’t work. I will never make it my cuddly friend. It is something I will fight not to accept. So, one point for ‘Fight.’
Conclusion
The results of the jury—clearly an objective one 🙂 and it shows a narrow win for ‘fight.’
Seriously, I fully understand the reasons people don’t like the word. I get it and in fact it has changed my perception. I am mentally prepared to smooth the edges and take a more balanced attitude towards the word.
But for me it works. There may be better words, slightly more polished and nuanced, but I personally want the raw implication that battle brings, albeit with maturing tactics and ensuring that rest, relaxation, sleep, and fun are part of the fight.
So fight stays!
You can, of course, choose your own!
3 Responses
It is a fight Ben! It’s us versus Parkinson’s. Round by round. Blow by blow. In our corner with us we have an army of supporters, our loving families, amazing medical & support teams, brilliant researchers and the vast resources of the global pharmaceutical industry. In the other corner, all alone, sits Parkinson’s. It needs no supporting crew. It acts on its own. It follows no rules. It doesn’t care if each of our fights goes 7, 10 or 15 rounds/years or more. It knows it will win. And, sadly, we know that too. It’s an unfair fight with unfair rules. But that doesn’t mean we’ll go down with the first blow or throw in the towel. Our clocks may be ticking too fast but we will be smart. We will adapt. We will learn how to dance in the rain. We will live life to the full. We will shove it up Parkinson’s. Just don’t give the f*cker an inch! It’s a fight Ben!
Thank you