In the recent family survey we conducted, I was unanimously ranked dead last in household tidiness, even behind our dog, Buddy. I’m not proud of this at all. I genuinely have a weakness when it comes to being tidy. My shoes seem to migrate to the exact wrong spot, despite my wife having created numerous “legal” spots/permitted zones to try to guide me. Somehow, I always have a collection of coffee mugs around me, books rarely make it to the shelf, and now, wheels, cables, and spare batteries are staging a quiet takeover of the downstairs.
Yes, as my daughter noticed this morning in her British best, “It looks like a Car Park here.” Sadly,…not for cars, but for mobility aids.
I’m a self-diagnosed, low-level wannabe petrolhead. I’ve always loved F1, tore down the Autobahn at ridiculous speeds too many times, and once had a 30-minute drive in a Ferrari in the Italian countryside that felt like heaven. I never quite made it to full-blown car enthusiast status, no garage full of vintage models or encyclopaedic knowledge of torque ratios, but I had the heart for it. I was in awe when I got to host a meeting at the world-famous McLaren Technology Centre (I think I forgot all about the meeting 😊).
But when my eyesight started to decline, I voluntarily made the tough, but necessary, decision to stop driving. It was one of the hardest choices I’ve ever made, even though it was the most logical. Like I guess many other people, I was a disaster waiting to happen, and I thank G-d I quit before it happened.
This week, I nearly added a bright red ‘boy toy’ scooter to the mix. I bought one, then cancelled the order before it arrived. A moment of nostalgia, maybe. A moment of madness, definitely.
Yet despite all that, I now have four models in stock.
- There’s the 7-wheel walker with adaptive braking, the manual version. It’s critical for keeping my legs moving, even if it’s more of a slide than a walk. It’s the short-distance model, complete with a backwards-facing seat.
- Then there’s the new and shiny lightweight electric model, top of the range at just 14kg. It’s given me a sense of freedom and, dare I say, acceleration again. My wife says I’m a danger to the roads (well, pavements/sidewalks). I say I’m just getting my mojo back, but she’s right, so I need to take more care.
- The lease model that is soon to be returned to the amazing charity Yad Sarah. It was great, but its low power-to-weight ratio couldn’t quite handle me. Built for 90kg max, it reminded me that specs matter (as it did the need to keep my weight under control as I have sadly stopped walking properly).
- And finally, the manual, self-propelled classic. This one’s for special occasions, like the Jewish Sabbath and holidays, when electric options are off the table (I know there are some options to be checked). It’s the timeless model, and paired with the walker, it still gets the job done.
- There is, of course, room for the hopefully-not-for-a-long-time bathroom version, which made a short and upsetting appearance as we checked our downstairs renovation plans to make a bathroom/bedroom for me and a carer ready for the future (hopefully distant).
Upstairs? A walker and a zimmer frame under current testing. Yes, we’re fully stocked.
And now, with spare batteries charging in corners, cables snaking across the floor, and some basic tools tucked into drawers (okay, this is an exaggeration, they gave us two Allen-type keys and I think I’m some kind of mechanic), the downstairs is starting to resemble a garage. A bit chaotic, a bit improvised, but undeniably true to form.
It’s not quite the garage I imagined when I was flying down the Autobahn at 240 km/h, but it’s still a garage full of the latest “wheels.”
I guess we should be more specific in the things we wish for.
For my wife and kids, it’s just more of the same: “Daddy’s clutter.” And Buddy stays well ahead of me 😊
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FYI: Check out the updated “(NOT) About Me” section at https://benlazpsp.com/about-me/ for the full story of the last five years, shaped by the people I love.
