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My daughters both said I was nuts. I am stubborn, I insisted, and it was worth the world to me.
My oldest daughter, who recently got married, moved with her husband to a small studio apartment about 15 minutes away. The problem: 10 to 15 steep stairs down to reach the front door, no bars, no handles. For someone in a wheelchair, that is not a small problem.
Once upon a time, I had this dream of popping in on my married kids regularly, making myself at home, being the kind of thoroughly annoying dad who shows up for breakfast twice a week uninvited. That dream had quietly stalled. I hadn’t been able to visit, hadn’t seen the place everyone kept describing, and that bothered me more than I let on.
Today my sister was with me, along with our carer. In typical fashion I announced I was going and recruited them as co-conspirators. The plan: bum-shuffle down the stairs, wheelchair brought to the bottom, visit the apartment, bum-shuffle back up. They were not convinced. I was insistent. I told my daughter not to worry and made jokes about bringing a mattress to slide down and a winch to get back up. I told her to listen out for the helicopter.
My sister drove and the stairs were exactly as advertised. I bum-shuffled down pretty successfully, had a good nosey around, drank tea, and left because she has exams and I am not entirely without shame (and she is popping by this evening!). Then I bum-shuffled backwards up the stairs. I exercise almost every day, weights included, and I needed every bit of it. Tiring does not quite cover it.
But I did it.
I feel so much happier having seen where my daughter lives. Knowing the place. Knowing where she is. It is not a grand gesture in the scheme of things but I am chalking it up as a proper win.
I needed a sleep afterwards just to write this, and tonight there is a wedding I cannot attend, so it is not all perfect. But the count today is a win. Solid, clear, wonderful win.
As I said this morning, I am calm and at peace, but I am also a little happier, and my trousers that much dirtier.
