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My yoga mat has a phrase on it: **Love & Good Vibes**.
I must have looked at it hundreds of times, but today is the first time I have actually taken notice.
Daily yoga is a good way of knowing where I am physically. A number of exercises that even yesterday I found difficult felt easier today. I was able to push through the pain and, with the help of my massage gun, even sit cross-legged, something I would not have attempted a week ago.
There is a lot involved in recovering from the acute pain of last week. I am certain that the build-up of Gabapentin, the opioid painkillers and other medications have helped enormously. But determination has played a part too. Sometimes the most important thing is simply refusing to give up.
My yoga routine is simple. Stretches on my back, sitting exercises, light weights (3kg), a few sit-ups, push-ups and, when I can manage it, a plank. Today I was too tired, but yesterday my carer and I managed a full minute.
It is nothing remarkable by most people’s standards, but for me it represents something important. It is a way of doing whatever I can in the battle with PSP and pain.
The message on the mat is not really about me, but I think there is wisdom in it. Positive energy matters. Not because it cures anything, but because it helps us keep going when life becomes difficult.
The massage gun has become another tool that I value enormously. It helps loosen muscles, reduce stiffness and get things moving again. It doesn’t involve booking appointments days ahead. Today both my feet were effectively numb. A short burst of the massage gun, which would normally be unbearable on my feet, made a remarkable difference.
I am unable to walk or balance properly, but thankfully I have built up this yoga routine over the last six years. It has become a marker of both my physical condition and my state of mind. Last week it reminded me how much pain I was in. Today it reminded me that things can improve.
Who knows what tomorrow will bring? PSP certainly does not provide guarantees. But I will keep trying my best.
Nothing removes the reality of PSP. The disease is still there when I wake up and still there when I go to sleep. But over the years I have learned that small things matter. A yoga mat. A massage gun. A determination to keep going. And lots of other things – too many to mention. Of course Faith and Family too!
None of them can defeat PSP, but together they help me stay in the game.
