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This is a perfect example of how attitude and mindset, and an espresso, can make all the difference.
Just a few minutes ago, I wrote and published a blog about having no plans. I woke up this morning with a really negative attitude – I was heading towards a bad place. Then I had my espresso, thought about it, and decided I had to shake that feeling.
Of course I have plans. Two come to mind immediately.
I plan to document my story and the PSP journey for as long as possible – which, for me, means a long time. I know the statistics, but I am determined to beat them, and my plan is to annoy those who receive my blogs, with a volume they find hard to handle, for as long as possible with my story. Where it is all headed, I have absolutely no idea – that I leave to a Higher Authority – but I plan to tell the PSP story from the inside for as long as I can. For myself. For others.
I plan – as I said in the now-deleted post – to lead the prayers for the Jewish New Year in six weeks, and I am very much focused on it. Of course, I have a back-up in place (who is a star), but my plan is to turn up and do the best possible job for myself and the community I represent.
I don’t have vacation plans. I sadly don’t have a plan to travel – not even to my niece’s Bat Mitzvah soon. But that is the lot I have been given, and I am determined to do the best I can under the circumstances.
I found it far too easy to reflect negatively on having no plans – it was easy enough to publish a whole post about it. My plans may be more limited than the ones from my career – one year, three years, five, ten – but I have clear goals: Faith, Family First, Purpose, Positivity and Joy, and Dignity. And I stand by them.
Because here is what I forgot to say: plans are the way to get somewhere. They are not the result.
I have achieved a lot in my life and I am very grateful, but I am going to push myself to achieve a lot more. I may find myself increasingly limited in capacity – but then, that goes for everyone.
So, I have to push off this dark cloud and get on with living. Do my exercise and yoga routine. Play some chess. Write some more – whilst resting ever more to manage my energy levels.
It is not easy to pick yourself up from a slump when you have PSP. I think I have shown myself this first hand. My heart goes out to everyone who suffers from it, and to those who care for them.
But the choice in front of me is simple: wither or push on.
Espresso drunk. Time to push on.
