A Spontaneous Flight to Cyprus…

On Shabbat, we were talking about family. My wife’s sister, her husband and their daughters were in Cyprus on holiday from the UK. Just one hour away by plane from here. I said why not go? They thought I was mad. It didn’t matter to me that I couldn’t go – I wanted my family to have a day to remember.

By Saturday night, I’d booked three return flights.

This morning, my wife and our two daughters flew out on a 5 a.m. flight and are spending the day with a very surprised sister/aunt, and nieces/cousins (my brother in law was in the know) who had absolutely no idea they were coming. I have received the videos of the surprise: confusion turning into recognition, recognition turning into hugs, and hugs turning into laughter.

By tonight, they’ll be back home. A one-day trip. Barely more than a flying visit. The kind of thing I might once have done without a second thought.

In fact, spontaneity used to be one of my defining characteristics. I was always the person booking last-minute trips, creating adventures and occasionally causing mild panic among family members who preferred a little more notice. There was something deeply satisfying about making a decision and simply getting on with it.

My work life wasn’t much different.

I remember standing in a pharmacy one evening when a client called and asked if I could be in New York the next morning for a short meeting. I came home with the item my wife had asked me to buy and explained that there was just one complication: I needed to leave immediately for the airport to catch a 1 a.m. flight.

That was normal. Or at least it was normal then.

The obvious difference this time is that I wasn’t on the plane.

PSP has changed the practical realities of travel. Even a short journey is really not an option for me. Crowds, noise, distances, pain management, accessibility, insurance and countless other considerations have turned something simple into something complicated.

For a long time, I would have seen that solely in terms of what had been lost.

Today, I didn’t.

As the videos arrived from Cyprus, I realised something important. I wasn’t wishing I was there. I wasn’t calculating what I was missing or regretting what I could no longer do. Of course I want to be there with them, but I simply enjoyed their enjoyment and the fact that I had made a happy and special event happen.

The surprise on my nieces’ faces. The excitement of an unexpected reunion. The knowledge that a completely ordinary Saturday evening conversation had somehow become a family memory by Monday morning.

Somewhere along the way, I’ve discovered that there is genuine pleasure in making good things happen for other people, even when you can’t take part yourself.

That’s not entirely selfless, of course. I organised the trip for them, but I’ve probably gained as much from it as anyone else. Watching people you love have a wonderful day turns out to be remarkably rewarding. I got the buzz without having to go on a plane.

PSP has undoubtedly made my world smaller. There are places I can no longer go and experiences I can no longer have. What it hasn’t taken away, however, is the ability to create opportunities for others.

Perhaps that’s why booking those flights felt so familiar. For a few minutes on Saturday night, I was the old Ben again, making impulsive decisions and disrupting everybody’s plans.

Except this time, I knew I wouldn’t be going.

I feared that would hurt. It didn’t.

I got the buzz from making it happen, and the joy from watching them enjoy it.

Selfless? Not entirely.

But today, I am simply a very happy husband and father.