“A friend in need is a friend indeed.”

My brother and I used to say that to each other when we were children.

It was our catchphrase. I remember it so fondly to this day, and I’m sure my brother does too.

I have no idea where it came from. No one else knew what we were talking about. It was probably our own mangled version of an older saying, but it became ours. We both knew what it meant, even if we couldn’t have explained it properly to anyone else.

For some reason, it has stayed with me for decades.

This morning, in the shower, it popped into my head again and made me think, for the first time in a long while, about what it actually means. In fact, I’ve probably been repeating it for years without ever spending more than a few seconds thinking about it, if that.

And I think I’ve finally worked it out.

It means exactly what it says.

A friend in need is a friend indeed.

Over the last few days, I could probably count on two hands, and then keep counting, the number of times friends have been there for me, physically and virtually. My wife would probably have an equally long list, if not a longer one.

None of them have been big, grand gestures, but they’ve been unbelievably important to me.

No, we don’t go on holiday with friends anymore, nor do we go out for dinner together. In many ways, illness has changed what friendship looks like in our lives.

But my friends are there.

The last few days have reminded me just how much that matters.

A friend called to thank me for an article and tell me how much it resonated with them.

A friend came over at 6:45am to learn with me as I prepare for leading services during the Jewish New Year.

A number of friends have played chess with me. Some additionally do shopping and a hundred other things for us. Some bring their dog, which keeps mine occupied. Some have offered to take me off-road if I ever want it.

Friends have brought packages from the UK at the last minute which were genuinely needed, and a number of friends have made time to visit when they have recently been in the country. One of these sent aerial shots of their new home surrounded by a green shaded box, which we joked about.

As well as this, many friends have checked in on WhatsApp simply to ask how I am.

This includes both old friends and new ones.

One of our neighbours has also played an incredibly important role in some of the meetings we have had, the deliveries we have needed and the choices we have made. Their help has meant an enormous amount to us, and we are deeply grateful.

Many I have not named, not for any reason, just my memory.

Additionally, we are blessed that the child of old friends is staying with us and we get to see the younger generation. It is special.

I can think of dozens of examples.

The people doing these things probably don’t think twice about them. They probably see them as ordinary acts of friendship.

What they may not realise is that those ordinary acts can have an extraordinary impact.

A message can change a day. A visit can break a difficult week. A game of chess can provide structure, companionship and something to look forward to. Someone taking the time to say, “I appreciated what you wrote,” can stay with you much longer than they imagine.

Friendship isn’t always about dramatic acts of support. More often, it’s about regular reminders that somebody thought of you.

Thankfully, and I’m very pleased to be able to say this, it works both ways.

In recent weeks I’ve been able to help friends as well, through mentoring, guidance, support and conversation. That matters to me.

I don’t want friendship to be a one-way street. I like knowing that, despite PSP and everything that comes with it, I can still contribute to other people’s lives just as they contribute to mine.

There is something deeply satisfying about that sense of balance, even if it will probably eventually shift more one way.

My wife and family deal with the day-to-day realities of caring for me. They carry responsibilities that can be relentless and exhausting.

Friends occupy a different role.

They are companions. They are a support mechanism.

They are people who bring fresh conversations, fresh perspectives, fresh jokes and fresh experiences into our lives. They provide incredible support to us as well as helping turn surviving into living.

And I don’t think we always give friendship the credit it deserves.

It’s a part-time role. An occasional role. A role that often takes only minutes at a time.

But it is also an incredibly important role.

This is not a plea for friends who haven’t reached out to reach out. It isn’t intended that way at all.

I am fortunate beyond measure to have friends who have shared life’s difficulties and life’s joys with us over many years.

This post is simply an acknowledgement of something I’ve been thinking about for a long time.

Friends often don’t realise how important they are.

They don’t always realise the significance of the text they sent, the visit they made, the game they played or the conversation they had.

But those things matter.

They really matter.

Thank you.

And perhaps that’s what my brother and I were really saying all those years ago.

A friend in need is a friend indeed.