Being positive is neither automatic nor easy, it’s a choice I have to make every day. Some people might naturally lean toward optimism or pessimism. I’m definitely the former. But that doesn’t mean positivity comes easily. It takes real work. This blog is one of the ways I keep swimming against the tide.
Lately, PSP has been gaining on me. I’m noticeably slower, more wobbly. My eyes are giving me more trouble, and today I had a classic choking fit, despite having eaten or drunk nothing. Just dust in the air, and suddenly I was gasping.
These moments have led me to a new way of thinking about my mental state: the North Star shrouded in fog.
I know my North Star, my purpose, my direction, the things that give me meaning. I’m blessed to still have those. I have deep faith and a profound appreciation for the gifts I’ve been given. As I’ve said many times, I genuinely wouldn’t swap lives with anyone. My North Star is clear and burning bright.
But the fog is heavy. The symptoms, the choking, the falls, the things I can no longer do, cloud my vision. They frustrate me. The future feels like it’s closing in, and that fills me with anxiety.
It doesn’t help when people remind me how bright my North Star is. Trust me, I know. Being positive isn’t magic, it’s work. And it doesn’t help to compare my fog to someone else’s. I know I have it easier than many. That doesn’t make my fog any less real.
I’ve realized that the trick is to break the cycle. It’s usually boredom or a specific frustration that gets me down. I’m learning, slowly, to switch things up. Do something else. Keep busy.
Giving in to gloom, boredom, or fear isn’t the answer. Churchill famously said, “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” For PSP, I’d tweak it: “If you’re going through hell, switch it up.”
My work is to clear the fog from my vision and grab the moments when the clouds part. Moments like spending time with my kids, my wife, my friends, playing a great game of chess, creating art, exercising, writing a good article. And finding some way to laugh, it always helps, even if it’s at my expense, which is really easy.
I’m still developing this idea, and I’d love to hear from others. If you’ve found ways to clear your own fog, whether through creativity, connection, or something else, I’d love to hear from you.
My North Star is great. I just need to get better at seeing through the fog, or finding ways to avoid foggy places
