I Can. I Will.

There is another PSP blogger, Hugh, whom I have come to respect greatly.

We write differently. He is more candid than I am, further along in the PSP journey, and he makes absolutely no secret of the fact that he hates this disease.

But what comes through in his writing is will. Backbone. A determination to keep going despite extraordinary challenges.

Yesterday, I read a post in which he thanked the many people who keep him functioning: family, friends, doctors, physiotherapists, and others. It was a very long list. It acknowledged the enormous challenges of PSP, but also the team effort involved in living with it.

It made me think.

I have spent a lot of time thinking about what PSP has taken from me and what it may take next.

I need to spend more time thinking about what remains.

I can. I will.

I can write, so I will write.

I can think, so I will think.

I can pray, so I will pray.

I can exercise, so I will exercise.

I can laugh, love, watch, listen, play, and contribute.

I can still influence. I can still make a difference. I can still achieve.

I can do a lot of things with the help of the extraordinary people around me.

That does not mean pretending PSP is anything other than a terrible disease. There will be rough days ahead, and, like Hugh, I will not shy away from them. I will continue to talk about the devastation PSP causes. There will almost certainly be moments when I do not believe a word of what I am writing now.

That is okay.

This is not about controlling PSP. I cannot.

It is about taking control of the small part that remains mine.

Yesterday taught me something.

I can spend my time mourning everything I can no longer do, or I can choose to notice the things I still can.

So my motto for today is very simple.

Perhaps it will last a year. Perhaps a day. Perhaps only the first hour of this morning.

With G-d’s help, and with the help of many others, too numerous to name:

If I can, I will.