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This morning, something hit me hard, and it probably shouldn’t have.
An old client, one of my first in London, sent a message saying he has an incurable disease (not PSP). We haven’t seen each other for 25 years. We exchanged brief hellos on LinkedIn in 2021 and before that in 2007, both times at his instigation. We’re not even connected on WhatsApp, we don’t share the same faith, and we have no mutual friends. Factually, we are not close. Yet the news gut-punched me.
Why does this happen, feeling someone’s pain so deeply when you’re so far removed from their life? I am sad at the news that people pass away or are ill but there are specific people who really touch us from left field (well, me anyway). Why?
Back then, I worked on a small project with him early in my career. He was kind, collaborative, and willing to trust a young consultant. We did good work together, and the experience shaped me. We met for coffee once or twice but never socialized. Still, he left a mark.
Hearing his news hurts more now because I feel empathy I probably didn’t have then. I replied briefly, but every word was heartfelt.
People touch us in strange ways, a short conversation, a brief working relationship, a lifelong friendship. Emotional bonds aren’t always logical. Love, and even dislike, works the same way. I knew I wanted to marry Gayle the moment I met her.
This morning reminded me; you can touch someone profoundly even for a short time. Many people have touched me that way. For me, it’s their genuineness and goodness, and maybe other things I can’t define.
It’s a lesson for all of us; every interaction is an opportunity to leave a positive mark. It’s hard to fake, and he certainly didn’t.
I’m still sad, but I’m sure many others feel the same about him. That matters. It reinforces my belief that we teach our children and loved ones mostly by example, by how we treat others.
I am going to send this article to the person and they will probably completely reject what I am saying because they are not the type of person to acknowledge it, but as they say you can’t argue with how someone feels and he can’t argue in this case how I feel and as there is no way anyone could trace this back to him then I have not caused any harm.
