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I have been speaking with a couple I met online. The husband has PSP, and I don’t believe we are too far apart in age.
They have been following my writing, and his wife told me that sometimes it feels as though I am writing about her husband, finding words for feelings he struggles to express.
He has decided that he does not want to continue living when he no longer feels like “himself.” My heart aches for him, for his wife, and for everyone who loves them.
I have made a different decision, rooted in my faith. I intend to see my own journey through.
But that is not why I am writing this. What saddens me is not his decision.
What saddens me is PSP.
Another beautiful family has been pushed by this disease into contemplating choices no family should ever have to face.
That is what breaks my heart.
PSP has taken so much from this man and his family that someone in circumstances remarkably similar to my own has reached a very different conclusion about how he wants his journey to end.
I understand that. I truly do.
I respect them and the courage it must take even to confront questions like these. I wish peace for him, his wife, and everyone who loves them. PSP does not just affect the person diagnosed. It spreads through a family. It changes relationships, responsibilities, plans, and futures.
Those of us who keep going do not do it alone. We draw enormous strength and suffering from the people standing beside us.
I still believe I have more to give. I believe I can continue to bring value to the people I love. How long I am granted to do that is, in my view, a matter for Him above.
I began this piece feeling sad. Heartbroken is probably closer.
Heartbroken that good people and loving families are forced into situations they never imagined.
I do not understand why suffering exists. That is well above my pay grade.
But I do know this.
PSP is a truly cruel disease.
Tonight, I hope writing this brings me a little peace.
More importantly, I hope this family knows they have my respect, my prayers, and my deepest love. They have shown me true kindness.
